When Kitty Turns on You

I can't count the number of times I've seen people's lives changing and while they are growing (getting married, having kids, buying a house or condo, or simply moving in with a new girlfriend/boyfriend), kitty starts becoming a stranger. They act out and attack, or sulk and don't eat. Now while lack of eating and sulking could be a major health issue, acting out is usually not. If your sulky kitty goes for a check up and the vet says your loved one is healthy, then start looking at your home.

Either way, keep in mind that even if you don't move, new surroundings like a baby, boyfriend, or even another animal can be distressing. Giving your kitty a sense of security should be your first priority in this case. If they have some favorite toys make sure these are out and available for kitty whenever she might be in the mood for them. Make a specific time to play with her each day with a toy she loves. If kitty doesn't have a special toy, buy a few different ones to see what she likes. I suggest small mice, a ball that kitty can hold when using her claws, and a couple of those toys that have a stick on one side for you to hold with a string and some kind of feathers or other toy for kitty to chase after. These toys are great because most cats adore them and it will create a bonding time for you and your unhappy kitty.

The next things to look at to help your kitty feel secure are to go through your house and look at where your kitty has to relax. Most felines need at least two soft, warm places that are only for them. This means no other kitty should be using that space. It can be as simple as a pet blanket on a cushion or chair, a pet bed, or even a large kitty tower. If you do not have at least two places just for kitty, your next step should be to create them. Kitties normally like to either climb high up or go under or in things. Some kitties like both. Either way, find a few places that allow kitty to be near you and the rest of the household, while also having their own space. Think of them kind of like having a very small man in your house. He will need his special "chair" to use after a long day. Make sure your kitty has their "chair."

If you have multiple animals (especially cats), make it clear that the area you have placed for the upset kitty is really only for them. Show your kitty the new spaces while all other pets are in another part of the house (if it is difficult to pick up your kitty because they are upset, try showing them during playtime). I also find that giving your kitty a few options in a couple of different common rooms is extremely helpful. This allows kitty to decide what he wants. Put a small soft cat bed under an end table next to your couch. Put a bed high up on a shelf or entertainment center. Put another under a window. Try one under your bed or bedside table. Put a kitty tower next to your bedroom window. Lay out a small pet blanket on a comfy but seldom used chair in your bedroom. Any of these things are fine, but should allow kitty to be in a common social area (main family room or living room and whatever bedroom they like to sleep in at night). I know that many kitties prefer to sleep with their people, so placing a special blanket for them on your bed in the spot they sleep reinforces that security even more. No matter what you setup, just make sure kitty has at least two options but allows them to also be with you if they choose.

Another security item to look at is litterboxes. Some kitties are fine sharing a litterbox, but some (especially territorial females) will hate it. Buy at least one per kitty, especially if you notice any kind of bad litterbox behavior in your furry friend. Bad behavior could include spraying (both males and females can spray, but it is more common with males-even neutered ones), urinating anywhere outside of the litterbox, wiping fecal matter outside of the litterbox, or even simply avoiding using the litterbox altogether. Show each kitty which box is theirs and make sure one is not more convenient to use than any other one. Putting one in a nice warm computer room and one in your freezing garage is an example of this. Make sure that kitties are not forced to spend time in an area that has a temperature different than the rest of the house. Just like you would hate running to an outhouse in the middle of winter, your kitty will too.

Within a short period of time, these things should help kitty start to feel more secure. As that security grows, so will their acceptance of things that caused the bad behavior, like a new kitty or baby, moving to a new home, etc. Kitty should start to calm down and you should see kitty socializing more and more once these changes are made.

Side note from this article: I am writing as much as I can right now, and will try to bring more updates as quickly as I can. In the meantime, if anyone has questions, please don't hesitate to contact me.